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Children's
grief
As soon
as a child is old enough to love, it is old enough to grieve.
Children may show a wide range of reactions to the news that
someone who was important to them has died. They may weep and
cry, they may get aggressive or numb. They may laugh
inappropriately or act out of character.
As time
progresses they may show signs of sleeplessness or be more
frequently ill than usual, they may go back in their development
or may become overly responsible and serious or withdrawn. They
may feel a deep longing in a physical way as they pine for the
person they have lost.
Children
are often afraid that they may loose another person as well.
They frequently think that they have caused the death by maybe
wishing something bad secretly and feel guilty. They might be
afraid of showing their feelings to others that are sad too,
because they don't want to make them cry.
For adults
it may sometimes seem strange, that children can switch very
quickly between being very upset to playing happily with their
friends. Children do
not feel the loss in any way less than adults but they switch
faster between moods.
For more
information click on
How children are affected HIV / AIDS
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Children's feelings
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Talking to children about death
|How
do children understand death?
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Complicated Grief.
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Jon's Story
Jon lost
his mom in a car accident. His dad didn't tell him for 2 days
what had happened. He was sent to stay with an aunt. When they
told him that his mom had died Jon went all numb inside.
It felt
like his blood had frozen.
Jon had
wanted to put a picture he had drawn
in the coffin for his mom but his
dad said,
she didn't need it anymore.
Jon felt
very stupid because he didn't know how to be.
Jon is scared to come home
from school now,
because the house is often empty
and he misses his mom.
He doesn't
dare talk to his dad about his mom,
because his dad starts shouting.
But sometimes he sees his dad
cry alone in his room.
So Jon
feels very lonely and
also afraid to be himself in
his family now. |
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Khululeka